Diabetes and.....

Humor Tools Life News Lifestyle



Saturday, December 30, 2006

Time is running out!

Holy Snikeys!!! We've only got two more days left in the year, and I've yet to make good on any of the resolutions I set for 2006.

Yes, that's right. The Guru is just like you. I set a gillzillion resolutions with the best of intentions, and by the third week of the new year they've been thown to the way-side. But would you beleive that last year I actually set a resolution and kept it (I lowered my A1c). Well that mean's I've got to do another - gotta keep the streak alive?!?

So first let's take stock of what I wanted to accomplish this year...I probably won't have time to cure diabetes, and that probably means there won't be enough time to create the energy efficient pump either. So let's go on to plan 'B' - improve myself in some small way, (very small) learn some new skill to say I ended 2006 on a high note.

Off to the garage to rummage through boxes and see if I can come up with any ideas. And low and behold here's the answer. My Spanish CDs! Fantástico! (That's Spanish for fantastic for all of you who don't know.) I'd purchased them believing I'd surprise the wife with my fluent Spanish on our trip to Mexico. Yet as I put in the first CD (the first of sixteen mind you) and began to listen to a woman who sounded a little like the the teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoon specials (wa-wa-wa-wa), I realized I should move on to plan C (that's C in spanish in case you did not know).

How about the piano? I played in the band in high school, even had some music theory in college. Surely I could learn at least one song, maybe even a tune for the holiday? Down on the stool I sat and prepared for my musical masterpiece. With my fingers ever so lightly touching the keys, I fixed my eyes closely on the pages before me. Ok, that first note is a G, definitely a G. Or is it an E? Hmm, well we'll skip that one and come back to it. The next one is definitely an F. Wait a minute, that numeral sign at the beginning of the music, what does that mean, something about the notes being sharp, right? Or maybe lowercase?

Ok, I can read the writing on the wall better then I could read this music. Drop the idea and move on. Time is running out fast. What to do? I've only got three hours before Ma and Pa Foster show up, and the wife is already hitting me up with the 'Honey-do' list....I've got to think fast. On to plan, yup, that's right, plan 'D' (or 'D#', yes it's definitely plan D#).

My meter! Yes! The Guru is a genius! I was so excited to the new BG meter last month I stuck a battery in it, coded the vial of strips, and was off and running without setting the date or the time. This is perfect, I'll keep my streak of resolutions in tact and be able to keep an accurate record of my BGs (Boy, I hope my doctor isn't reading this...)

Up the stairs I ran to where I keep all of my diabetes supplies. I threw the doors of the closet open to search for the instructions that would lead to my salvation. All my diabetes supplies were stored in boxes stacked on top of one another - infusion set boxes, cartridge boxes, old meter boxes, shoe boxes, shipping boxes. Yes sir, everything in a box and a box for everything. One might call it a mess, yet I prefer to use the word, 'systematic'.

I finally find the instructions for the meter, it was a booklet of about four million pages long, give or take a page. (You'd think I was building the meter from scratch with parts from a radio.) I sat on the bed and began to scan the table of contents in the hope of bypassing the introductory stuff to get what I needed. Welcome, no....Precautions, no....Waiver, no....A-Ha! Time and date!

Frantically, I fumble with the meter and work to enter the time and date. Scroll, scroll, scroll. Enter! Scroll, scroll, scroll. Enter! I felt as if the countdown to the new year was upon me. Ten. Nine. Eight. Wait, wait, Wait! I've got to scroll back and fix the month. Seven. Six. Five. Darn It!Four. Three. Wait, wait, wait! Two...

Whew! Got the time and date done in the nick of time. The streak lives on and no one's the wiser (especially me). As I throw the instructions onto the top box of one of the stacks, the weight of the instruction booklet toppled the stacks over, causing the other stacks of boxes to fall over like a big stack of dominoes. Crash!

'What honey? My parents are here? Ok. I'll be right down. No, that noise was nothing. Trust me.'

Well, looks like I've got a resolution for 2007, I've got to get these supplies organized....

No comments:

Post a Comment