Eye checkup

I had to get an eye exam today. Actually I had to get one a year ago today - but i didn't, and that's the problem, and this blog entry. I hadn't had one in over a year and a half. I know, I know, we (those of us who are insulin challenged) are supposed to get then yearly. But at the last exam the MD had told me something I had never heard before at a check up and it really freaked me out; he told me I was showing some signs of disease.

Now I've had diabetes for 28 years and I've had good control for almost all of them. Exercise (specifically running) has been a blessing to me because without it i never would have gotten the level of control I've had. What began as a competitive kick has became a lifelong passion. Without it I wouldn't have worked out so much, wouldn't have cared what I ate, and wouldn't have checked as many times as I have without it. It's lead to 28 years of complication free living with diabetes...

Until now. Last year at my annual checkup the MD advised that i had early stages of eye disease, and because of it I needed to start scheduling my appointments every 6 months instead of every year. Yea, that's pretty much how he said it. He didn't even look at me when he said it (pretty callous if you asked me). He didn't explain what it was, or how we could prevent it.

So yes, you would think i would have the appointment right away, but hearing what he said (and the way he said it) freaked me out. I mean really freaked me out. I had been so proud of myself to go that long without showing any signs of disease; it was something I had been very proud of. After losing some of my competitiveness in running I guess the competitiveness had transferred to the diabetes - and i had decided i was going to win. I would not get complications.

So i did what most of us have done. I ignored it. I was a no show for my 6 month appointment, and then my yearly. I was so afraid of what the MD would say I thought if i just didn't hear the news that would make it ok. It's funny that I've spoken to probably thousands of people with diabetes who have done this with one MD appointment or another. Counseled them through the understanding that ignoring the problem would not make it go away. Then I go and do it. Great example, huh?

This last trip to the CWD conference though was inspiring. I had to go to the MD, if not for me, then for them. The role model that I want to be wouldn't sit down and take this, so i made the appointment an went.

And as far as the outcome? Well for now I'm not showing any signs of glaucoma, which was wonderful news. But I am still showing signs of eye disease. At this visit though, i was more prepared I asked how much had it progressed and what else could i do to try and prevent it. The signs had not progressed at all (yes, wondeful news!) and the MD said he would forward the info to talk to my endo more in depth. For more info on eye disease you can click here.

Lessons learned? Well if i can be greatful for any of this it is that it gives me a new perspective. I do undestand the fear that those of us with diabetes have when we're faced with results we don't want to know. And i hope that that helps me reach others with diabetes that i have not in the past. Only time will tell, but I like to think that i can see forward and know this will happen.